Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic—this is the spiritual path.
Pema Chödrön
The Spiritual Path
Topic: Spiritual Growth & Practice
Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize it. Nothing ever sums itself up in the way that we like to dream about. The off-center, in-between state is an ideal situation, a situation in which we don’t get caught and we can open our hearts and minds beyond limit. It’s a very tender, nonaggressive, open-ended state of affairs.
To stay with that shakiness—to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge—that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic—this is the spiritual path. Getting the knack of catching ourselves, of gently and compassionately catching ourselves, is the path of the warrior. We catch ourselves one zillion times as once again, whether we like it or not, we harden into resentment, bitterness, righteous indignation—harden in any way, even into a sense of relief, a sense of inspiration.
Pema Chödrön, born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown on July 14, 1936, in New York City, grew up on a farm in New Jersey. She attended Miss Porter's School before earning a degree in English literature from Sarah Lawrence College and a master’s in elementary education from the University of California, Berkeley. She married at 21 and had two children before experiencing two divorces. Her spiritual journey led her to study Buddhism with Lama Chime Rinpoche in London and Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche in the United States. In 1974, she was ordained as a novice nun by the Sixteenth Gyalwa Karmapa, Rangjung Rigpe Dorje, and in 1981, became the first American woman fully ordained in the Vajrayana tradition.
Chödrön played a key role in bringing Tibetan Buddhism to the West. In the early 1980s, Trungpa Rinpoche appointed her director of the Boulder Shambhala Center in Colorado. She later moved to Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia, the first Tibetan Buddhist monastery in North America for Western students, becoming its director in 1986. Recognized as an acharya (senior teacher) in 1993, she continued teaching despite health challenges, including chronic fatigue syndrome. Her books, such as When Things Fall Apart (1996) and No Time to Lose (2005), explore resilience, mindfulness, and compassion, emphasizing shenpa, the habitual grasping that leads to suffering.
In 2020, Chödrön retired from her role as acharya within Shambhala International, citing concerns over the organization’s direction. She continues to teach, lead retreats, and study with her teacher, Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche. Recognized for her contributions to Buddhist practice, she received the Global Bhikkhuni Award in 2016. Though she stepped back from institutional leadership, she remains a guiding voice in contemporary Buddhism, emphasizing the power of mindfulness and compassion in daily life.
When Things Fall Apart
Chödrön, Pema. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. Shambhala Publications, 1997, P. 10.
Pema Chödrön
Theme: Spiritual Growth
About This Pema Chödrön Quotation [Commentary]
Pema Chödrön invites us to stay present with uncertainty rather than seeking relief from discomfort. She describes the spiritual path as “getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic.” Instead of resisting life’s instability, she encourages us to meet it with openness. This is not about controlling circumstances but about deepening our capacity to be with what is—whether it be a broken heart, fear, or a sense of hopelessness. By staying with these difficult moments rather than turning away, we develop a steadiness that is not dependent on external conditions.
Chödrön describes this as “the path of the warrior,” one that requires catching ourselves “one zillion times” as we harden into resentment, bitterness, or even a sense of relief. Rather than trying to avoid or suppress these reactions, we learn to notice them with gentleness and compassion. In doing so, we loosen our habitual tendencies and allow for greater freedom in how we respond to life’s challenges. This practice is not about achieving perfection but about continually returning to awareness, meeting each moment as it is.
Spiritual growth, as Chödrön presents it, is not about eliminating suffering but transforming how we relate to it. Life is always in transition, and nothing sums itself up in the way we might wish. By recognizing that the “off-center, in-between state” is where awakening happens, we stop seeking certainty and instead embrace the unfolding nature of experience. In this way, Chödrön reminds us that the spiritual path is not about escaping discomfort but learning to remain present with whatever arises.
Additional Pema Chödrön Quotations
“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh.”
—Chödrön, Pema. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. Shambhala Publications, 1997.
“The essence of bravery is being without self-deception.”
—Chödrön, Pema. The Pocket Pema Chödrön. Shambhala Publications, 2008.
“When we protect ourselves so we won’t feel pain, that protection becomes like armor, like armor that imprisons the softness of the heart.”
—Chödrön, Pema. The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times. Shambhala Publications, 2001.
“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.”
—Chödrön, Pema. The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times. Shambhala Publications, 2001.
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”
—Chödrön, Pema. The Pocket Pema Chödrön. Shambhala Publications, 2008.
“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”
—Chödrön, Pema. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. Shambhala Publications, 1997.
“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.”
—Chödrön, Pema. The Pocket Pema Chödrön. Shambhala Publications, 2008.
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