Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic—this is the spiritual path.
Pema Chödrön
The Spiritual Path
Theme: Spiritual Growth
Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize it. Nothing ever sums itself up in the way that we like to dream about. The off-center, in-between state is an ideal situation, a situation in which we don’t get caught and we can open our hearts and minds beyond limit. It’s a very tender, nonaggressive, open-ended state of affairs.
To stay with that shakiness—to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge—that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic—this is the spiritual path. Getting the knack of catching ourselves, of gently and compassionately catching ourselves, is the path of the warrior. We catch ourselves one zillion times as once again, whether we like it or not, we harden into resentment, bitterness, righteous indignation—harden in any way, even into a sense of relief, a sense of inspiration.
Early Life and Education
Pema Chödrön, born as Deirdre Blomfield-Brown in 1936 in New York City, embarked on her educational journey at Miss Porter’s School in Connecticut, followed by the University of California, Berkeley. After her graduation, she dedicated many years to teaching elementary school in New Mexico and California. A mother of two and a grandmother to three, Pema has always been a guiding light for her family, instilling values and wisdom from her rich life experiences.
Spiritual Awakening and Ordination
In her mid-thirties, Pema experienced a significant spiritual awakening during a trip to the French Alps, where she met Lama Chime Rinpoche. This encounter led her to take her novice nun vows in 1974 in London, a pivotal moment in her life, further solidified by her ordination by His Holiness the Sixteenth Karmapa. Her spiritual journey continued under the mentorship of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche from 1974 until his passing in 1987, deepening her Buddhist practice and understanding. In 1981, Pema was fully ordained in the Chinese lineage of Buddhism in Hong Kong, marking a significant milestone in her spiritual path.
Teaching and Legacy
Pema Chödrön's commitment to spreading Buddhist teachings led her to assume the role of director at Karma Dzong in Boulder, Colorado. In 1984, following Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche's vision, she moved to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, to lead Gampo Abbey, a monastery for Western practitioners. Pema continues to focus on teaching in the US and Canada, interspersed with solitary retreats under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche. Her literary contributions, including "The Wisdom of No Escape", "Start Where You Are", and "Smile at Fear", reflect her profound insights and her commitment to establishing monastic traditions in the Western world.
When Things Fall Apart
Chödrön, Pema. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. Shambhala Publications, 1997, P. 10.
Pema Chödrön
Theme: Spiritual Growth
About This Pema Chödrön Quotation [Commentary]
Pema Chödrön invites us to stay present with uncertainty rather than seeking relief from discomfort. She describes the spiritual path as “getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic.” Instead of resisting life’s instability, she encourages us to meet it with openness. This is not about controlling circumstances but about deepening our capacity to be with what is—whether it be a broken heart, fear, or a sense of hopelessness. By staying with these difficult moments rather than turning away, we develop a steadiness that is not dependent on external conditions.
Chödrön describes this as “the path of the warrior,” one that requires catching ourselves “one zillion times” as we harden into resentment, bitterness, or even a sense of relief. Rather than trying to avoid or suppress these reactions, we learn to notice them with gentleness and compassion. In doing so, we loosen our habitual tendencies and allow for greater freedom in how we respond to life’s challenges. This practice is not about achieving perfection but about continually returning to awareness, meeting each moment as it is.
Spiritual growth, as Chödrön presents it, is not about eliminating suffering but transforming how we relate to it. Life is always in transition, and nothing sums itself up in the way we might wish. By recognizing that the “off-center, in-between state” is where awakening happens, we stop seeking certainty and instead embrace the unfolding nature of experience. In this way, Chödrön reminds us that the spiritual path is not about escaping discomfort but learning to remain present with whatever arises.
Additional Pema Chödrön Quotations
“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh.”
—Chödrön, Pema. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. Shambhala Publications, 1997.
“The essence of bravery is being without self-deception.”
—Chödrön, Pema. The Pocket Pema Chödrön. Shambhala Publications, 2008.
“When we protect ourselves so we won’t feel pain, that protection becomes like armor, like armor that imprisons the softness of the heart.”
—Chödrön, Pema. The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times. Shambhala Publications, 2001.
“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.”
—Chödrön, Pema. The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times. Shambhala Publications, 2001.
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”
—Chödrön, Pema. The Pocket Pema Chödrön. Shambhala Publications, 2008.
“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”
—Chödrön, Pema. When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. Shambhala Publications, 1997.
“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.”
—Chödrön, Pema. The Pocket Pema Chödrön. Shambhala Publications, 2008.
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