Forgiveness cannot be a disengaged, pastel emotion… It must be able to face the dark side of the human condition.

Kent Nerburn

The Hard Road of Forgiveness

Topic: Virtue, Morality, & Ethics

Forgiveness cannot be a disengaged, pastel emotion. It is demanded in the bloodiest of human circumstances, and it must stand against the strongest winds of human rage and hate. To be a real virtue, engaged with the world around us, it must be muscular, alive, and able to withstand the outrages and inequities of inhuman and inhumane acts. It must be able to face the dark side of the human condition.
How we shape such forgiveness is one of the most crucial questions in our lives. And, it is not easy. Sometimes we get so frustrated that we don’t think we can take it any more.
But we can and we must; it is our human responsibility. Even though we know that forgiveness, misused, or misunderstood, can become a tacit partner in the wrongs around us, we also know that, properly applied, it is the glue that holds the human family together. It is the way to bridge the loneliness that too often surrounds us. We must find a way to build that bridge, even if our hands are clumsy and the materials at our command are flawed.

Kent Nerburn

Kent Nerburn, born on October 5, 1946, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, has lived a life deeply rooted in service and understanding. His early experiences with his father, a Red Cross worker, exposed him to human vulnerability and resilience, shaping his commitment to aiding others. Nerburn's academic journey led him to a Ph.D. in Religious Studies and Art from the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, after studying at the University of Minnesota and Stanford University. His artistic venture, influenced by renowned European sculptors, transitioned into a focused effort in writing and educating, particularly after his meaningful time on the Red Lake Ojibwe reservation.

Nerburn has authored and edited significant works on Native American spirituality, including "To Walk the Red Road" and "The Soul of An Indian." His books bridge cultural narratives, highlighting the essential wisdom of indigenous traditions. Transitioning from sculpture to writing, he aims to educate and connect people through the power of narrative, offering insights into American spirituality and the enduring legacy of native cultures.

Now living near Portland, Oregon, with his wife, Louise Mengelkoch, a former professor at Bemidji State University, Nerburn reflects on his evolving role as an elder in today's society. His life's work, a continuous exploration of spirituality and humanity, seeks to mentor the next generation, urging a respectful and integrated approach to life's vast mysteries. Through his writings and teachings, Nerburn champions a conscientious journey towards understanding and respect for all life's interconnected paths.

Native American Religions
Calm Surrender

Nerburn, Kent. Calm Surrender: Walking the Hard Road of Forgiveness. New World Library, 2000.

Kent Nerburn

Theme: Forgiving

About This Kent Nerburn Quotation [Commentary, Part 1]

Kent Nerburn’s quotation on forgiveness illuminates its necessary strength and resilience. He posits that forgiveness is not a mild or passive emotion but a robust, vital force capable of confronting humanity’s darkest aspects. This perspective challenges common perceptions of forgiveness as merely an act of letting go or a passive release of resentment. Instead, Nerburn underscores its active engagement with the pain and horror that can arise in human interactions. Forgiveness, in this light, is not an act of forgetfulness or surrender but a deliberate choice to confront and transform the harshest realities of human behavior, embodying a strength that is both compassionate and unwavering.

About This Kent Nerburn Quotation [Commentary, Part 2]

Nerburn delves into the complexities of enacting forgiveness in the face of egregious acts, suggesting that its application is a nuanced and challenging endeavor. He acknowledges the paradoxical nature of forgiveness: while it has the potential to inadvertently condone or become complicit in injustice, it also holds the capacity to unite and heal. The concept of forgiveness he presents is not one of naive acquiescence but a conscious, ethical commitment to reconciliation and healing. This form of forgiveness becomes a dynamic and courageous response to the wrongs and cruelties of the world, aiming to restore humanity’s collective bonds rather than to ignore or gloss over the fractures.

The call to practice such a robust form of forgiveness, as Nerburn articulates, is a profound human responsibility. It requires wisdom to navigate its dual potential for healing and unintentional complicity in harm. Forgiveness, as envisioned by Nerburn, is the foundational element for sustaining the human spirit and community. It’s an active process of building bridges over the chasms of alienation and misunderstanding that plague human relationships. Thus, forgiveness, in its most potent form, is not only about addressing the past but also about crafting a future where human dignity and solidarity can flourish amidst the imperfections and trials of life.

The Hard Road of Forgiveness

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