The willingness to win or lose moves us out of an adversarial relationship to life and into a powerful kind of openness… a place beyond preference for outcome, a life beyond life and death.

Rachel Naomi Remen

Beyond Life and Death

Topic: Life Beyond Death & the Spirit World

The willingness to win or lose moves us out of an adversarial relationship to life and into a powerful kind of openness… a place beyond preference for outcome, a life beyond life and death. It is a place of freedom, even anticipation. Decisions made from this perspective are life-affirming and not fear‑driven.

Rachel Naomi Remen

Rachel Naomi Remen was born on February 8, 1938, in New York, New York. Her upbringing, rich in diverse religious influences, including the teachings of Saint Luke the Physician and the wisdom of her grandfather, an Orthodox rabbi, instilled in her a respect for the healing power of storytelling and the human spirit. This eclectic spiritual background guided her toward a medical career that extends beyond treating physical ailments, focusing on the holistic understanding and nurturing of individuals.

As a pediatrician who embraced integrative medicine, Remen became a pivotal figure in medical education. She is a Clinical Professor Emeritus at UCSF School of Medicine and a Professor of Family Medicine at Wright State University. In 1991, she founded the Remen Institute for the Study of Health and Illness (RISHI), carving a niche for healthcare professionals eager to blend compassion with clinical practice. Her course, The Healer’s Art, reflects her holistic approach, influencing medical students globally to adopt professionalism and empathy as core values.

Remen's literary contributions, including her bestselling books "Kitchen Table Wisdom" and "My Grandfather’s Blessings," resonate with readers worldwide, available in 23 languages. These narratives intertwine the human experience with the healing power of connection, showcasing her belief in the interplay between diverse spiritual traditions and medicine. Her home, adorned with Buddhas, mirrors her inclusive spiritual journey, embracing elements from various faiths that underscore her holistic approach to healing. Despite her chronic illness, Remen's work has garnered significant recognition, underscoring her commitment to a medicine that cares for the soul as much as the body, a testament to her belief in the universal capacity for healing and connection.

Science and Spirituality

Remen, Rachel Naomi. Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal. 10th anniversary ed., Riverhead Books, 2006.

Rachel Naomi Remen

Theme: Life Beyond Death

About This Rachel Naomi Remen Quotation [Commentary]

Rachel Naomi Remen writes, “The willingness to win or lose moves us out of an adversarial relationship to life and into a powerful kind of openness.” This shift is not about giving up but about stepping away from the drive to control outcomes. In that movement, something else becomes possible—“a place beyond preference for outcome.” This phrase names a state of being that is less reactive and more receptive. It is not shaped by fear or urgency but by a quiet openness to what life brings. This willingness loosens the grip of certainty and allows us to meet life without demanding a particular result.

She calls this space “a life beyond life and death.” It is not a claim about the afterlife but a way of living that is no longer bound by our usual fears. By releasing our hold on outcome, we enter “a place of freedom, even anticipation.” Freedom here is not detachment—it is trust. Anticipation suggests an active readiness, not dread. When life is no longer approached with resistance or preference, we are able to stay present with what is, including loss and uncertainty. In this space, control is replaced by attentiveness, and urgency gives way to presence.

Rachel Naomi Remen concludes, “Decisions made from this perspective are life-affirming and not fear-driven.” The transformation she describes does not depend on what happens but on how we meet what happens. Choosing from this place means responding not out of fear, but from what is rooted in life itself. In speaking of “a life beyond life and death,” she gestures toward an interior freedom that does not erase suffering but changes our relationship to it. It is a way of living that honors both vulnerability and courage, without needing to resolve the mystery.

Additional Rachel Naomi Remen Quotations

“As a physician, I was trained to deal with uncertainty as aggressively as I dealt with disease itself… But death has taken me to the edge of certainty, to the place of questions… I surrendered. … The things we know are only a small part of the things we cannot know but can only glimpse. Yet even the smallest of glimpses can sustain us… An unanswered question is a fine traveling companion. It sharpens your eye for the road.”

—Remen, Rachel Naomi. Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal. 10th anniversary ed., Riverhead Books, 2006.

“A human life has seasons much as the earth has seasons, each time with its own particular beauty and power. And gift. By focusing on springtime and summer, we have turned the natural process of life into a process of loss rather than a process of celebration and appreciation. Life is neither linear nor stagnant. It is movement from mystery to mystery. Just as a year includes autumn and winter, life includes death, not as an opposite but as an integral part of the way life is made.”

—Remen, Rachel Naomi. Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal. 10th anniversary ed., Riverhead Books, 2006.

Beyond Life and Death

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