Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.
C. S. Lewis
The Value of Friendship
Topic: Family & Friendship
I have no duty to be anyone’s Friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.
Clive Staples Lewis, known as C.S. Lewis, was born on November 29, 1898, in Belfast, Ireland. Growing up in a home filled with books, he developed a love for literature early on. After serving briefly in World War I, he attended Oxford University, where he earned a degree in English language and literature. He later became a professor at Oxford in 1925, a position he held for nearly three decades. His deep interest in both literature and theology shaped much of his writing throughout his life.
At Oxford, Lewis was part of the Inklings, a group of writers that included his close friend J.R.R. Tolkien. Their shared love for mythology and storytelling deeply influenced their works. Lewis's interest in Christian theology is evident in his writings, such as Mere Christianity and The Problem of Pain. His clear and accessible style made him a leading voice in Christian apologetics. His most famous fictional work, The Chronicles of Narnia, remains a classic in children's literature.
In addition to fiction, Lewis wrote extensively on love, friendship, and human nature. In The Four Loves, he emphasized the value of spiritual friendship, describing it as a bond that goes beyond companionship. His friendship with Tolkien, rooted in shared ideals and intellectual pursuits, reflected this belief. C.S. Lewis continued to write until his death on November 22, 1963, in Oxford, England, leaving a lasting impact on literature and Christian thought.
The Four Loves
Lewis, C. S. The Inspirational Writings of C.S. Lewis: Surprised by Joy, Reflections on the Psalms, the Four Loves, the Business of Heaven. Inspirational Press, 1991.
C. S. Lewis
Theme: Friendship
About This C.S. Lewis Quotation [Commentary]
C.S. Lewis writes, “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” With this, he names friendship as something that cannot be measured by usefulness or necessity, yet holds deep meaning. Like beauty or thought, it does not help us endure in a material sense, but gives shape and color to our living. By placing friendship alongside the universe itself—a creation Lewis notes “God did not need to create”—he suggests that what is unnecessary may also be what is most freely given and most deeply enriching.
In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis describes friendship as a form of love distinct from others. It begins where people meet without pretense—“like sovereign princes of independent states, abroad, on neutral ground.” Unlike relationships shaped by role or obligation, friendship allows each person to be known “simply what he is,” apart from background, duty, or expectation. There is no requirement to become someone else, nor to carry titles or histories into the space of shared presence. Lewis calls this the “kingliness of Friendship”—not grand but dignified, not earned but received.
This kind of love, he says, carries “no claims, no shadow of necessity.” We are not bound to it by duty, and no one owes it to us. In this, friendship reveals its particular freedom: a connection based not on survival, but on the joy of mutual understanding. What Lewis calls “an affair of disentangled, or stripped, minds” is a rare openness. It neither demands nor possesses—it simply delights in the other as they are. Friendship may not sustain the body, but, as Lewis shows, it gives life a worth that survival alone cannot offer.
A Longer Excerpt From the Quote’s Context
“In a circle of true Friends each man is simply what he is: stands for nothing but himself. No one cares twopence about anyone else’s family, profession, class, income, race, or previous history. Of course you will get to know about most of these in the end. But casually. They will come out bit by bit, to furnish an illustration or an analogy, to serve as pegs for an anecdote; never for their own sake. That is the kingliness of Friendship. We meet like sovereign princes of independent states, abroad, on neutral ground, freed from our contexts. This love (essentially) ignores not only our physical bodies but that whole embodiment which consists of our family, job, past and connections. At home, besides being Peter or Jane, we also bear a general character; husband or wife, brother or sister, chief, colleague, or subordinate. Not among our Friends. It is an affair of disentangled, or stripped, minds. Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities.
Hence (if you will not misunderstand me) the exquisite arbitrariness and irresponsibility of this love. I have no duty to be anyone’s Friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity. Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
—Lewis, C. S. The Inspirational Writings of C.S. Lewis: Surprised by Joy, Reflections on the Psalms, the Four Loves, the Business of Heaven. Inspirational Press, 1991.
C.S. Lewis on the Love Between Friends
In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis describes philia—the love between friends—as a bond rooted in a shared pursuit of truth and wisdom, making it deeper than simple companionship. Unlike romantic or familial love, friendship is freely chosen and, as Lewis notes, “the least biological” of loves. He admired how ancient cultures valued friendship as “the happiest and most fully human of all loves,” lamenting that modern society often overlooks its importance. Though friendship can have risks like exclusivity or pride, Lewis saw it as one of life’s greatest gifts, offering meaning and value beyond mere survival, as demonstrated in his own friendship with J.R.R. Tolkien.
C.S. Lewis on True Friendship by Maria Popova
What is so delicious as a just and firm encounter of two, in a thought, in a feeling?” Emerson marveled in his exquisite meditation on friendship. But what, exactly, is at the heart of this “just and firm encounter”?
In his insightful 1960 book The Four Loves (public library), C.S. Lewis (November 29, 1898–November 22, 1963) picks up where Aristotle left off and examines the differences between the four main categories of intimate human bonds — affection, the most basic and expressive; Eros, the passionate and sometimes destructive desire of lovers; charity, the highest and most unselfish spiritual connection; and friendship, the rarest, least jealous, and most profound relation.
In one of the most beautiful passages, he considers how friendship differs from the other three types of love by focusing on its central question: “Do you see the same truth.”
—Maria Popova, BrainPickings [C.S. Lewis on True Friendship].
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