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True happiness is about cultivating a mind that can appreciate life as it is and not constantly struggle to force it into a perfect form.

Sharon Salzberg

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Real Happiness

Topic: Joy & Happiness

True happiness is about cultivating a mind that can appreciate life as it is and not constantly struggle to force it into a perfect form.

Sharon Salzberg

Sharon Salzberg, born on August 5, 1952 in New York City, is one of the world's renowned meditation teachers and authors. Her early life was marked by loss and turmoil, with her parents' divorce and the death of her father. Her mother's subsequent mental health issues forced Sharon into a series of foster homes and schools. This period of difficulty and displacement sparked her interest in the workings of the mind and the possibility of finding inner peace amidst chaos.

In 1969, Sharon attended a lecture on Buddhism at the State University New York, Buffalo, which ignited her passion for understanding and exploring human consciousness. A year later, she left for India as part of an independent study program, searching for a more comprehensive approach to alleviate human suffering. This journey led her to meet various spiritual teachers, most notably S. N. Goenka, under whose guidance she began to practice Vipassana or Insight Meditation. This would prove to be a turning point not only in her personal life but also in her impact on Western spirituality.

Following her profound experiences in India, Salzberg returned to America in 1974 and co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, with Jack Kornfield and Joseph Goldstein. She has since authored several influential books, including "Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness" and "Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation," teaching people how to cultivate mindfulness, compassion, and, most importantly, how to integrate these practices into everyday life. Despite her massive influence, Salzberg maintains a humble approach to her work, underscoring that it's not about achievement but being able to touch one's own heart and, subsequently, the hearts of others.

Buddhism
Real Happiness

Salzberg, Sharon. Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation. Workman Publishing, 2010.

Sharon Salzberg


Theme: Happiness and Well-being

About This Sharon Salzberg Quotation [Commentary]

In Sharon Salzberg’s reflection, “True happiness is about cultivating a mind that can appreciate life as it is and not constantly struggle to force it into a perfect form,” she offers a pathway to genuine well-being that doesn’t rely on manipulating external realities. Salzberg, an advocate of mindfulness and compassion, suggests that happiness is an inner cultivation—a mental and emotional shift toward accepting life without the habitual urge to reshape it to fit an ideal. By recognizing and releasing our need for control, Salzberg argues that we create space for appreciation and peace, fostering an openness to whatever life brings.

Salzberg’s approach to happiness encourages a relationship with life marked by non-judgmental awareness, where each experience, emotion, and challenge is acknowledged without needing to mold it into a particular shape. This perspective is grounded in mindfulness principles, which emphasize seeing things as they are, not as we wish them to be. In doing so, Salzberg contends that we soften the internal struggles that arise from dissatisfaction and frustration. This quiet acceptance provides emotional freedom, enabling us to encounter life’s imperfections with kindness and without the strain of constant correction.

In the context of happiness and well-being, Salzberg’s teaching resonates with the idea that genuine contentment arises from an internal alignment rather than external perfection. When we cultivate a mind capable of appreciating the present moment, we become less affected by life’s turbulence. This shift allows for a resilient well-being, where happiness is defined not by the absence of challenges but by a compassionate acceptance of them. Through this practice of open-hearted awareness, Salzberg illuminates a path to true happiness—one that invites us to release our grip on ideals and instead embrace the present with patience and gratitude.

A passage excerpt and some additional Sharon Salzberg quotations

“In the Buddha’s terms, real, true happiness can be seen as an arm of resilience. Happiness is not about feeling like everything’s great, but about recognizing our inner resource of self-trust and our connection to others that keeps us from feeling depleted by tough emotions and experiences.”

In my first years studying meditation with one of my teachers, Munindra, a fellow student once asked him why and how he came to practice meditation. I expected a studious response, perhaps a pious one, but Munindra’s answer totally surprised me. Without hesitation, he replied, “I practice meditation so that I can notice the small purple flowers by the roadside that we otherwise miss.”

This is the essence of mindfulness: paying deliberate attention, and doing so with an open heart. His answer really got to the heart of taking in joy, and being nourished by it. Rejoicing in something beautiful doesn’t have to mean the same thing as attachment. Allowing ourselves to enjoy a delightful experience with an open heart enhances our capacity for generosity and gratitude. We feel capable of being loving and connecting, and we want others to be able to feel the same. In that recognition, we see, with strength, that we are not fundamentally isolated, that our lives really do have something to do with one another.

Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh has said, “Happiness is available. Please help yourself.” Helping ourselves could not only amount to our own happiness, but also to our commitment to the wellbeing of others.”

—Salzberg, Sharon. “Happiness Is an Arm of Resilience.” SharonSalzberg.com, 26 Mar. 2016, www.sharonsalzberg.com/on-being-column/happiness-is-an-arm-of-resilience/.

“Real happiness is found when we bring a sense of spaciousness to our experiences, allowing ourselves to fully enjoy moments without guilt or self-consciousness.”

—Salzberg, Sharon. Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation. Workman Publishing, 2010.