Compassion is not just feeling with someone, but seeking to change the situation.
Desmond Tutu
Compassion Seeks Change
Topic: Love, Compassion, & Kindness
Compassion is not just feeling with someone, but seeking to change the situation. Frequently people think compassion and love are merely sentimental. No! They are very demanding.
Desmond Mpilo Tutu (7 October 1931 – 26 December 2021) was a distinguished South African Anglican Archbishop and theologian known globally for his dedicated work as an anti-apartheid and human rights activist. His involvement in the fight against racial segregation in South Africa during the apartheid era was steadfast and resulted in significant contributions to the nation's quest for racial equality. In recognition of his efforts, Tutu was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984. His leadership and moral courage were instrumental in transitioning South Africa towards a more reconciled society.
Tutu was deeply religious and his belief in God, perceived as both a Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother, played a major role in his life and advocacy. This belief, which extended beyond traditional Anglican theology, played a significant role in his stance on gender equality. His faith, therefore, wasn't simply a personal doctrine, but it also guided his public advocacy and influenced his approach towards human rights.
Tutu was also a strong proponent of Ubuntu, an African philosophy that stresses the interconnectedness of humanity. This concept aligns with the idea that one's well-being is tied to the well-being of others. Tutu's acknowledgment of advancements in human rights and his continued efforts for improvement were reflective of this philosophy. Despite the challenges he faced during the apartheid era, Tutu remained committed to advocating for a world where peace, justice, and dignity were accessible to everyone. Through his lifetime, Desmond Tutu left an enduring mark on society, and his legacy continues to inspire those who pursue equality and human rights.
Tutu, Desmond, and Mpho Tutu van Furth. *The Book of Forgiving*. HarperOne, 2010. Print.
Desmond Tutu
Theme: Compassion
About This Archbishop Desmond Tutu Quotation [Commentary]
Desmond Tutu says, “Compassion is not just feeling with someone, but seeking to change the situation.” He begins with “feeling with someone,” and then immediately turns to “seeking to change the situation,” so care is not only an emotion but a response. He adds, “Frequently people think compassion and love are merely sentimental. No!” In that sharp “No!” he clears away the idea that love is soft or vague. “They are very demanding,” meaning that real care asks something of us—attention, courage, and follow-through.
Desmond Tutu’s public life stayed close to that sequence of ideas. He did not stop at “feeling with” people harmed by apartheid; he worked to “change the situation” through nonviolent witness, advocacy, and moral leadership. In South Africa’s long struggle, he kept linking love to responsibility, pressing for truth-telling and for a future that could hold both justice and healing. His words and actions show the same insistence: compassion moves toward what must be repaired, not only what must be felt.
This is also personal. “Feeling with someone” can begin quietly—listening without rushing, making room for another person’s fear or grief—but Desmond Tutu’s line will not let us stay there. “Seeking to change the situation” may mean practical help, shared resources, speaking up when someone is being diminished, or joining others to address what causes harm. If love is “very demanding,” it is because it asks our hands and choices to match our concern, so that care becomes real for women, men, and children alike.
Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho Tutu van Furth
Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho Tutu van Furth share more than a family bond; they share a lived commitment to compassion. Their combined voice in “The Book of Forgiving” comes from their direct experiences with hardship, justice, and reconciliation. When they speak of compassion, it’s grounded in the real-world actions they’ve taken to help others.
In their writings, compassion is an active process. It’s not enough to simply feel for someone; one must also strive to better the situation. This message comes from people who have lived the importance of moving from sentiment to action. They know that compassion isn’t a mere feeling, but a choice to engage, to be present, and to make things better.
By emphasizing action, Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu van Furth bring the concept of compassion back to earth. Their wisdom invites us to be more than spectators. We are encouraged to be participants in shaping a world that reflects the values of justice, healing, and love. When we understand compassion as they do, it becomes clear that it’s not just an idea but a call to meaningful action.
Ubuntu Means Humanity
In South Africa, Ubuntu is our way of making sense of the world. The word literally means “humanity.” It is the philosophy and belief that a person is only a person through other people. In other words, we are human only in relation to other humans. Our humanity is bound up in one another, and any tear in the fabric of connection between us must be repaired for us all to be made whole. This interconnectedness is the very root of who we are.
To walk the path of forgiveness is to recognize that your crimes harm you as they harm me. To walk the path of forgiveness is to recognize that my dignity is bound up in your dignity, and every wrongdoing hurts us all.
Even when we recognize our interconnectedness, forgiveness can still be a difficult path to walk. Some days it will seem as if for every one step forward we take two steps back. It is a journey. And before the beginning of any new journey, big or small, there must be the willingness to take that first tentative step forward. There is a Gaelic proverb which states “Nothing is easy for the unwilling.” Without willingness, this journey will be impossible. Before compassion comes the willingness to feel compassion. Before transformation there must be the belief that transformation is possible, and the willingness to be transformed. Before forgiveness there must be the willingness to consider forgiving.
We will take this journey with you. Even if you believe there is no way you could ever forgive, or you believe that what you have done is so heinous you could never be forgiven, we will walk with you. If you are afraid or unsure or doubt that your situation could be transformed, we invite you to try. If you are without hope, paralyzed by guilt, drowning in grief, or full of anger, we invite you to come with us. We walk this path with you because we believe it is a path that will offer healing and transformation. We invite you to take this journey with us not because it will be easy but because, in the end, the path of forgiving is the only path worth taking.
Additional Desmond Tutu Quotations About Compassion
“If you are going to be compassionate, be prepared for action!”
—Tutu, Desmond. “If you are going to be compassionate, be prepared for action!” PassItOn.com, The Foundation for a Better Life, www.passiton.com/inspirational-quotes/4435-if-you-are-going-to-be-compassionate-be. Accessed 1 July 2024.
“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”
—Tutu, Desmond. “15 Impactful Quotes by Desmond Tutu.” Broad Street Presbyterian Church, 26 Dec. 2021, bspc.org/15-impactful-quotes-by-desmond-tutu/. Accessed 1 July 2024.
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