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When you are grateful, you know that you belong to a network of give-and-take and you say ‘yes’ to that belonging. This ‘yes’ is the essence of love.

David Steindl-Rast

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When You Are Grateful

Topic: Gratitude

You can feel either grateful or alienated, but never both at the same time. Gratefulness drives out alienation; there is not room for both in the same heart. When you are grateful you know that you belong to a network of give-and-take and you say “yes” to that belonging. This “yes” is the essence of love. You need no words to express it; a smile will do to put your “yes” into action. Don’t let it matter to you whether or not the other one smiles back. Give someone an unexpected smile today and so contribute your share to peace on earth.

David Steindl-Rast

David Steindl-Rast, a 96-year-old Benedictine monk, author, and scholar, is globally celebrated for his enduring teachings on gratitude as the foundation of lasting happiness. Often referred to as the “grandfather of gratitude,” Steindl-Rast has been a beacon of inspiration and spiritual mentor to an array of international leaders and luminaries such as Desmond Tutu, the Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, and Thomas Merton. His significant contribution to the modern interfaith dialogue movement is noteworthy, and his teachings have been shared alongside thought-leaders like Eckhart Tolle, Jack Kornfield, and Roshi Joan Halifax.

Steindl-Rast's wisdom and insights have been showcased in recent interviews with influential figures like Oprah Winfrey, Krista Tippett, and Tami Simon, extending his reach to a wider audience. His TED talk on the subject of gratefulness, which emphasizes its role as a transformative power in individual lives and broader societies, has been viewed almost 10,000,000 times, reflecting his substantial impact on global audiences.

He is also affiliated with Grateful.org, an organization dedicated to cultivating gratitude as a transformative and healing practice. Steindl-Rast's teachings continue to echo across generations, fostering a culture of gratitude and encouraging an interfaith dialogue centered on universal values and shared human experiences. His life's work is a testament to his unwavering commitment to the exploration and promotion of gratitude as the bedrock of holistic well-being and spiritual fulfillment.

(1926 - ) Christianity

Steindl-Rast, Br. David. "Five Small Gestures of Gratitude to Counteract Fear and Violence." Grateful.org, 2002, www.grateful.org/article/five-small-gestures-gratitude-counteract-fear-violence/.

David Steindl-Rast


Theme: Gratefulness

About This Br. David Steindl-Rast Quotation [Commentary]

David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, bridges the concepts of gratitude, belonging, and love in his teachings. In his statement, “When you are grateful, you know that you belong to a network of give-and-take and you say ‘yes’ to that belonging. This ‘yes’ is the essence of love,” Steindl-Rast highlights the transformative power of gratitude. He suggests that gratitude is more than a mere personal emotion; it is an acknowledgment of our place within a web of relationships and exchanges. By recognizing our interconnectedness through gratitude, we affirm our participation in this collective network, which Steindl-Rast identifies as a fundamental expression of love.

Expanding on this idea, Steindl-Rast contrasts feelings of gratitude with alienation, asserting that one cannot experience both simultaneously. He explains that gratefulness inherently dispels alienation, as it fills the heart with a sense of belonging and connection. This notion of belonging is deeply rooted in the recognition that our lives are intertwined with the actions and existence of others. Gratitude, therefore, becomes a means of embracing this interconnectedness, fostering a sense of unity and shared existence. This unity, expressed through a simple “yes,” transcends words and can be conveyed through actions as subtle as a smile, furthering peace and harmony in the world.

Steindl-Rast’s teachings emphasize that the act of being grateful is, in itself, a form of love. By saying “yes” to our interconnectedness and accepting our place in the world, we engage in an act of love that goes beyond personal sentiment. This acceptance and affirmation of our mutual dependence enrich our relationships and our sense of community. Thus, through gratitude, we cultivate a deeper, more inclusive form of love that recognizes and celebrates the interconnected nature of our lives. Steindl-Rast’s perspective invites us to practice gratitude not only as a personal virtue but as a vital component of our collective human experience.

An Additional David Steindl-Rast Quote

“Love is the unconditional “yes” of the heart. Or better still, as E.E. Cummings put it, “What yes is to if, love is to yes.” The “yes” of love is all-embracing. If we said “yes” to the journey without saying “yes” to the home, our courage might deteriorate into faithless recklessness. But if we said “yes” to the home only, not also to the journey, our faithfulness might shrivel into narrow timidity. Only the all-embracing “yes” of love closes the arc between the poles of the heart, thus welding together faithfulness and courage. We learn to say the “yes” of faithfulness by being faithful, and the “yes” of courage by overcoming our fears one by one. It takes a lifetime and death is the final test. To say “yes” with one’s whole heart, that is spiritual practice according to biblical tradition—at least this is one way of putting it.”

―Br. David Steindl-Rast [Steindl-Rast, Br. David. “About the Heart.” Grateful.org, 2002, www.grateful.org/article/about-heart/.].