This confusion between small self and larger Self is the core illusion of the human condition, and penetrating this illusion is what awakening is all about.

Cynthia Bourgeault

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Topic: Self-Cultivation & Health

The person I normally take myself to be—that busy, anxious little ‘I’ so preoccupied with its goals, fears, desires, and issues—is never even remotely the whole of who I am, and to seek the fulfillment of my life at this level means to miss out on the bigger life. This is why, according to his teaching, the one who tries to keep his ‘life’ (i.e., the small one) will lose it, and the one who is willing to lose it will find the real thing. Beneath the surface there is a deeper and vastly more authentic Self, but its presence is usually veiled by the clamor of the smaller ‘I’ with its insatiable needs and demands.

This confusion between small self and larger Self (variously known in the traditions as ‘True Self,’ ‘Essential Self,’ or ‘Real I’) is the core illusion of the human condition, and penetrating this illusion is what awakening is all about.

Cynthia Bourgeault

Cynthia Bourgeault (born March 13, 1947, in West Chester, Pennsylvania, United States) is an Episcopal priest, modern-day mystic, teacher of Christian contemplation, and author. She studied medieval studies at the University of Pennsylvania and Ohio State University, focusing on early music and liturgical drama. Her early experiences of silence at a Quaker school influenced her lifelong interest in contemplative spirituality. Ordained in the Episcopal Church in 1979, she combined her Christian vocation with a deep openness to other traditions, studying Sufism, Tibetan Buddhism, and G. I. Gurdjieff’s Fourth Way.

Her contemplative path deepened in 1990 at a Centering Prayer retreat with Thomas Keating, after which she became his student, editor, and colleague for nearly thirty years. She was also shaped by the guidance of hermit monk Raphael Robin and Benedictine writer Bruno Barnhart. From these roots she helped form communities dedicated to Wisdom Christianity, co-founding The Contemplative Society in British Columbia and serving as founding director of the Aspen Wisdom School. She is also a member of the Global Peace Initiative for Women’s Contemplative Council, where she supports interspiritual dialogue and peace work.

Cynthia Bourgeault divides her time between a hermitage on a small island off the coast of Maine and her global teaching commitments. She is core faculty emerita at the Center for Action and Contemplation and continues to guide the Wisdom Waypoints network. Her books, including The Wisdom Jesus, Mystical Hope, and The Heart of Centering Prayer, explore how immanence and transcendence meet in daily life. In 2021, Watkins Review named her among the 100 most spiritually influential living people. She remains dedicated to what she calls “the path of Wisdom,” a way of living that unites contemplative practice, interspiritual learning, and embodied presence.

(1947-) Christianity

Bourgeault, Cynthia. Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening. Cowley Publications, 2004, p. 10.

Cynthia Bourgeault

Theme: Being in Self

About This Cynthia Bourgeault Quotation [Commentary]

Cynthia Bourgeault begins by identifying “the person I normally take myself to be”—that “busy, anxious little ‘I’ so preoccupied with its goals, fears, desires, and issues.” Yet this smaller sense of self is “never even remotely the whole of who I am.” The confusion arises when we mistake this limited identity for the fullness of who we are. As Cynthia Bourgeault explains, to seek “the fulfillment of my life at this level means to miss out on the bigger life.” Identifying with the small self keeps us from recognizing the deeper reality of who we are.

Cynthia Bourgeault connects this distinction to Jesus’ teaching that the one who tries to keep the smaller “life” will lose it, while the one willing to lose it “will find the real thing.” Beneath our ordinary sense of identity is “a deeper and vastly more authentic Self,” also known as the “True Self,” “Essential Self,” or “Real I.” This deeper Self is already present, but “usually veiled by the clamor of the smaller ‘I’ with its insatiable needs and demands.” Recognizing this distinction does not mean denying our ordinary human experience, but understanding that our fears, desires, and personal concerns are not the whole of who we are.

For Cynthia Bourgeault, “this confusion between small self and larger Self is the core illusion of the human condition,” and “penetrating this illusion is what awakening is all about.” Awakening means seeing beyond the limited identity of the “busy, anxious little ‘I’” and recognizing the larger Self already present beneath the surface. Being In Self is not about acquiring a new identity or perfecting the smaller one. It is about releasing our identification with the small self and discovering the “deeper and vastly more authentic Self” through which we enter the “bigger life.”

Additional Cynthia Bourgeault Quotations

“And so meditation rests on the wager that if you can simply break the tyranny of your ordinary awareness, the rest will begin to unfold itself. At first when you begin a practice of meditation, it feels like a place you go to. You may think of it as ‘my inner sanctuary’ or ‘my place apart with God.’ But as the practice becomes more and more established in you so that this inner sanctuary begins to flow out into your life, it becomes more and more a place you come from.”

—Bourgeault, Cynthia. Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening. Cowley Publications, 2004.

“Contemplative prayer is simply a wordless, trusting opening of self to the divine presence. Far from being advanced, it is about the simplest form of prayer there is. Children recognize it instantly—as I did—perhaps because, as the sixteenth-century mystic John of the Cross intimates, ‘Silence is God’s first language.’”

—Bourgeault, Cynthia. Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening. Cowley Publications, 2004.

“Centering Prayer insists that the one who prays wishes to meet God as God is, directly, immediately—i.e., not mediated by any thought, prayer, reflection, or reading.”

—Bourgeault, Cynthia. Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening. Cowley Publications, 2004.

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