Forgiveness is not a single action, but a process. We may need to forgive again and again even for one event.
Sharon Salzberg

Forgive Again and Again
Theme: Forgiving
Forgiveness is not a single action, but a process. We may need to forgive again and again even for one event.
Sharon Salzberg, born on August 5, 1952 in New York City, is one of the world's renowned meditation teachers and authors. Her early life was marked by loss and turmoil, with her parents' divorce and the death of her father. Her mother's subsequent mental health issues forced Sharon into a series of foster homes and schools. This period of difficulty and displacement sparked her interest in the workings of the mind and the possibility of finding inner peace amidst chaos.
In 1969, Sharon attended a lecture on Buddhism at the State University New York, Buffalo, which ignited her passion for understanding and exploring human consciousness. A year later, she left for India as part of an independent study program, searching for a more comprehensive approach to alleviate human suffering. This journey led her to meet various spiritual teachers, most notably S. N. Goenka, under whose guidance she began to practice Vipassana or Insight Meditation. This would prove to be a turning point not only in her personal life but also in her impact on Western spirituality.
Following her profound experiences in India, Salzberg returned to America in 1974 and co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, with Jack Kornfield and Joseph Goldstein. She has since authored several influential books, including "Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness" and "Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation," teaching people how to cultivate mindfulness, compassion, and, most importantly, how to integrate these practices into everyday life. Despite her massive influence, Salzberg maintains a humble approach to her work, underscoring that it's not about achievement but being able to touch one's own heart and, subsequently, the hearts of others.
Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
Salzberg, Sharon. "Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection." Flatiron Books, 2017

Sharon Salzberg
Theme: Forgiving
About This Sharon Salzberg Quotation [Commentary Part 1]
Sharon Salzberg, in her thoughtful exploration of love and its complexities, offers a profound understanding of forgiveness. She portrays forgiveness not as a single, decisive act but as an evolving journey that may necessitate revisiting the act of forgiving, even for the same incident. This perspective challenges the common misconception that forgiveness is a momentary lapse of memory or a quick fix to emotional turmoil. Instead, Salzberg invites us to view it as a process that unfolds over time, necessitating patience and repeated effort. Her approach underscores the depth and resilience required to genuinely free oneself from the shackles of past hurts, emphasizing that forgiveness is less about the other and more about one’s liberation from enduring resentment and pain.
About This Sharon Salzberg Quotation [Commentary Part 2]
In her narrative, Sharon Salzberg carefully dissociates forgiveness from the act of condoning or excusing wrongdoing. This distinction is crucial as it reframes forgiveness as an act of personal empowerment rather than a concession to the perpetrator. Forgiveness, in Salzberg’s eyes, is the intentional release of bitterness and anger, a vital step towards healing and self-compassion. By advocating for this self-directed process, she illuminates the path to personal freedom and wellbeing, advocating for a mindful and loving-kindness approach. This involves a compassionate acceptance of our human flaws and mistakes, both in ourselves and in others, encouraging a nurturing attitude towards the inevitable imperfections of the human experience.
Sharon Salzberg’s teachings on forgiveness extend beyond personal healing to touch on the interconnectivity of our experiences. She elucidates how our individual acts of forgiveness are entwined with broader patterns of interdependence, where our inner peace and emotional liberation are inextricably linked to the collective well-being. By practicing forgiveness, we not only heal ourselves but also contribute to a larger fabric of mutual understanding and kindness. This process, supported by mindfulness and meditation, helps cultivate a compassionate heart, enabling us to navigate life’s challenges with grace and resilience. Salzberg’s insights into forgiveness thus offer a powerful tool for personal transformation and collective harmony.
Sharon Salzberg’s views about Forgiveness
Sharon Salzberg views forgiveness as a complex and ongoing process rather than a singular action. She emphasizes that forgiveness is not synonymous with forgetting or negating past hurts but involves a deeper understanding and releasing of the emotional grip these events have on us. Sharon sees forgiveness as an opportunity for growth and clarity, encouraging a compassionate relationship with oneself and others. By practicing forgiveness, we unlock a profound openness of heart, allowing us to acknowledge both the positive and negative aspects of our experiences without being imprisoned by them. This reflects her broader teaching on the importance of compassion and mindfulness, underscoring that forgiveness also includes seeing one’s own mistakes with clarity and tenderness, which can often be the most challenging yet transformative part of the practice.
“What happens in our hearts is our field of freedom. As long as we carry old wounds and anger in our hearts, we continue to suffer. Forgiveness allows us to move on.”
― Sharon Salzberg, Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“We’re in charge of our own forgiveness, and the process takes time, patience, and intention.”
― Sharon Salzberg, Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“To forgive, we may need to open our minds to a fuller exploration of the context in which the events occurred, and feel compassion for the circumstances and everyone involved, starting with ourselves.”
― Sharon Salzberg, Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“In some ways to be able to forgive, to let go, is a type of dying. It is the ability to say, ‘ I am not that person anymore, and you are not that person anymore.’ Forgiveness allows us to recapture some part of ourselves that we left behind in bondage to a past event. Some part of our identity may also need to die in that letting go, so that we can reclaim the energy bound up in the past,”
― Sharon Salzberg, Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness
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