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When you are grateful, you know that you belong to a network of give-and-take and you say ‘yes’ to that belonging. This ‘yes’ is the essence of love.

David Steindl-Rast

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When You Are Grateful

Topic: Gratitude

You can feel either grateful or alienated, but never both at the same time. Gratefulness drives out alienation; there is not room for both in the same heart. When you are grateful you know that you belong to a network of give-and-take and you say “yes” to that belonging. This “yes” is the essence of love. You need no words to express it; a smile will do to put your “yes” into action. Don’t let it matter to you whether or not the other one smiles back. Give someone an unexpected smile today and so contribute your share to peace on earth.

David Steindl-Rast

David Steindl-Rast, a 96-year-old Benedictine monk, author, and scholar, is globally celebrated for his enduring teachings on gratitude as the foundation of lasting happiness. Often referred to as the “grandfather of gratitude,” Steindl-Rast has been a beacon of inspiration and spiritual mentor to an array of international leaders and luminaries such as Desmond Tutu, the Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, and Thomas Merton. His significant contribution to the modern interfaith dialogue movement is noteworthy, and his teachings have been shared alongside thought-leaders like Eckhart Tolle, Jack Kornfield, and Roshi Joan Halifax.

Steindl-Rast's wisdom and insights have been showcased in recent interviews with influential figures like Oprah Winfrey, Krista Tippett, and Tami Simon, extending his reach to a wider audience. His TED talk on the subject of gratefulness, which emphasizes its role as a transformative power in individual lives and broader societies, has been viewed almost 10,000,000 times, reflecting his substantial impact on global audiences.

He is also affiliated with Grateful.org, an organization dedicated to cultivating gratitude as a transformative and healing practice. Steindl-Rast's teachings continue to echo across generations, fostering a culture of gratitude and encouraging an interfaith dialogue centered on universal values and shared human experiences. His life's work is a testament to his unwavering commitment to the exploration and promotion of gratitude as the bedrock of holistic well-being and spiritual fulfillment.

(1926 - ) Christianity

Steindl-Rast, Br. David. "Five Small Gestures of Gratitude to Counteract Fear and Violence." Grateful.org, 2002, www.grateful.org/article/five-small-gestures-gratitude-counteract-fear-violence/.

David Steindl-Rast


Theme: Gratefulness

Br. David Steindl-Rast, When You Are Grateful [A brief commentary]

In this passage from David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk renowned for his profound teachings on gratefulness, the central theme revolves around the deep interconnectedness of gratitude, belonging, and love. He postulates that when we experience gratitude, we inherently acknowledge our place in a reciprocal network of relationships, and in doing so, we express our consent to be a part of this complex fabric of interconnections. This acceptance or affirmation is described by Steindl-Rast as the “essence of love,” establishing a profound link between gratitude and love.

Br. David Steindl-Rast, When You Are Grateful [A longer commentary]

To delve deeper into Steindl-Rast’s words, we first examine his statement on the fundamental concept of gratefulness leading to an understanding of belonging within a “network of give-and-take”. Here, Steindl-Rast suggests that gratitude is not just an individual, isolated emotion. Instead, it’s a gateway to realizing our connections with others and the world around us. This awareness stems from acknowledging that much of what we have to be grateful for originates from others’ actions, the environment, or greater forces beyond our control. Such acknowledgment fosters a sense of belonging, of being an integral part of a complex web of exchanges.

Further, Steindl-Rast connects this sense of belonging and gratitude with love, calling this connection the ‘yes’ that affirms our place in the world. He suggests that the heart of love lies in this willingness to acknowledge and embrace our interconnectedness, a concept born out of gratitude. The acceptance of our part in the wider community and the universe encapsulates a certain form of love. This illuminates a nuanced dimension to the emotion of love, positioning it as not only a personal sentiment but also as a recognition and affirmation of our interdependence. It underscores that love, like gratitude, is not an isolated feeling but is intimately connected with our interactions with others and the world. In essence, Steindl-Rast’s exploration of gratefulness and gratitude paints a profound picture of their roles as gateways to experiencing a deeper sense of belonging and love.

An Additional David Steindl-Rast Quote

“Love is the unconditional “yes” of the heart. Or better still, as E.E. Cummings put it, “What yes is to if, love is to yes.” The “yes” of love is all-embracing. If we said “yes” to the journey without saying “yes” to the home, our courage might deteriorate into faithless recklessness. But if we said “yes” to the home only, not also to the journey, our faithfulness might shrivel into narrow timidity. Only the all-embracing “yes” of love closes the arc between the poles of the heart, thus welding together faithfulness and courage. We learn to say the “yes” of faithfulness by being faithful, and the “yes” of courage by overcoming our fears one by one. It takes a lifetime and death is the final test. To say “yes” with one’s whole heart, that is spiritual practice according to biblical tradition—at least this is one way of putting it.”

―Br. David Steindl-Rast [Steindl-Rast, Br. David. “About the Heart.” Grateful.org, 2002, www.grateful.org/article/about-heart/.].