Happiness is a By-Product

Topic: Joy & Happiness

Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product. Paradoxically, the one sure way not to be happy is deliberately to map out a way of life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Anna Eleanor Roosevelt, born on October 11, 1884, and passing away on November 7, 1962, was a significant American political figure, diplomat, and activist. Her service as the First Lady of the United States from March 1933 to April 1945, alongside her husband President Franklin D. Roosevelt during his four terms in office, marked her as the longest-serving First Lady of the United States. Her tenure as First Lady was just the beginning of a long and impactful career in public service, showcasing her commitment to various social and political causes.

Following her role as First Lady, Roosevelt transitioned into a diplomatic position, serving as the United States Delegate to the United Nations General Assembly from 1945 to 1952. This role significantly contributed to her reputation as a dedicated advocate for human rights. Her work in promoting human rights on an international stage was groundbreaking, bringing attention to issues that were often overlooked, and working towards creating a world where human rights were recognized and protected.

Eleanor Roosevelt's legacy is marked by her dedication to human rights, her service to her country, and her continuous advocacy for the marginalized and oppressed. Her efforts in the realm of human rights were acknowledged by President Harry S. Truman, who honored her with the title "First Lady of the World." This title not only pays tribute to her achievements in the realm of human rights but also recognizes the lasting impact she had on both national and international platforms. Through her life’s work, Roosevelt set a lasting standard for public service and remains a notable figure in American history.

(1884-1962) Humanism, Arts and Sciences

Roosevelt, Eleanor. "You Learn by Living." Westminster John Knox Press, 1960, p. 95.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Theme: Happiness and Wellbeing

About This Eleanor Roosevelt Quotation [Commentary]

Eleanor Roosevelt’s statement, “Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product,” asks women and men to look closely at what they are truly aiming for in life. She immediately deepens this by adding, “Paradoxically, the one sure way not to be happy is deliberately to map out a way of life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively.” Taken together, these sentences show how a life centered only on pleasing oneself “completely and exclusively” works against its own intention. The more a person tries to secure happiness as a goal, the more it recedes. For Eleanor Roosevelt, happiness comes as “a by-product” of something else: a way of life grounded in purpose, connection, and shared responsibility.

In You Learn by Living, Eleanor Roosevelt uses the phrase “map out a way of life” to suggest that every person is drawing a kind of inner map through daily choices. That map can either circle around personal comfort or open toward service, curiosity, and courage. When someone designs life only to avoid discomfort and “please oneself completely and exclusively,” the map grows smaller and more isolating. When the map includes other people—their needs, joys, and struggles—then a different result appears. In that kind of life, happiness is not the main target but “a by-product” of showing up, contributing, and allowing relationships to shape who we become.

Seen in this light, Eleanor Roosevelt’s words offer a grounded vision of happiness and wellbeing. We do not erase our own needs, but we stop treating happiness as the central “goal” and instead attend to the quality of our “way of life.” If that way of life goes beyond self-interest, if it refuses to “map out” existence only around what one person wants, then happiness follows as “a by-product” of living in honest connection with others. Her insight suggests that when women and men release the drive to “be happy” at any cost and live for more than themselves, they often discover that happiness has been quietly forming in them all along.

Eleanor Roosevelt’s Voice of Love

“Each of you needs to deeply, deeply appreciate who you are, including the uniqueness of who you are. I would like to say to everyone, embrace your life completely so that the reality you live in can be changed to higher and higher levels. Love yourself, for God lives in you. Do not diminish or insult that presence within. Let it be born in you as you awaken to it. Seek it with all your heart and mind. Then, when you come here [to the Spirit World], you will feel completely at home.”

—Eleanor Roosevelt, with Philip Burley, Channel (with Dolores Proiette). Voices of Love from the Light. P. 318.

Happiness is a By-Product

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